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 Vinland: Revelations

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Mordred
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PostSubject: Vinland: Revelations   Sat Sep 15, 2012 12:20 am

As many of you know I am currently writing a book, as you also know I love getting feedback. I just posted a snippet up on my blog, let me know what you think!

http://glbkay.blogspot.co.uk/2012/09/a-personal-challenge.html
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Sir Haegon
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PostSubject: Re: Vinland: Revelations   Sat Sep 15, 2012 12:31 am

Noooo, what is the secret?!

you mean person you.
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Mordred
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PostSubject: Re: Vinland: Revelations   Sat Sep 15, 2012 12:44 am

Razz

Incidentally the Lawspeaker / Priest that is questioned is a Priest of Tyr, the Viking god of War and Justice. Thought you Astraeans here might appreciate that!
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Ser Varys
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PostSubject: Re: Vinland: Revelations   Sat Sep 15, 2012 8:28 am

I like it! I really like little spotlight shown on Lief and the eloquence of Thorstein, although I take it he's the/an antagonist?

Good luck finishing it, I'll be sure to try to buy it and read it!

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Mordred
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PostSubject: Re: Vinland: Revelations   Sat Sep 15, 2012 9:10 am

Yup! In the scene before this Thorstein badly burned Iva, hence her immediate disliking of him. Before Thorstein was kind of an underused character, making him Leif's rival really livened Greenland up.
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Isabel Tenorio
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PostSubject: Re: Vinland: Revelations   Sat Sep 15, 2012 11:04 am

That snippet is too small.


Add more, and I might be able to give a different comment. tongue
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Mordred
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PostSubject: Re: Vinland: Revelations   Sat Sep 15, 2012 11:07 am

I guessed you might say something like that. Depending on what else I get written in the next few days I might post some more up, I am always willing to show off Razz
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Isabel Tenorio
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PostSubject: Re: Vinland: Revelations   Sat Sep 15, 2012 11:09 am

Oh no! I'm becoming too predictable.


Allow me to correct myself regarding the snippet of the story:

Spoiler:
 

There. I bet you weren't expecting that!
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Mordred
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PostSubject: Re: Vinland: Revelations   Sat Sep 15, 2012 12:36 pm

Just wrote another bit i'm really proud of. Think Edvin might actually be one of my favourite characters now. Each time I write something about him, he surprises me on some way.


“You see, we are the same you and I. We are both gamblers, not because we play with dice but because we risk our lives willingly. I do it for profit, but I wonder why you do...” Edvin mused, looking back out across the fjord. Leif kept still for a while, absorbing all this man had said, but keeping his eyes on him.

“I take it you want to come with us?” he asked, already knowing the answer. Edvin smiled and nodded, not looking away from the shimmering waters.

“I already decided to sail from when I first heard about the voyage. Since then we’ve just been negotiating a price. I know you need money to finance the expedition, and I just happen to have some shillings that I am willing to invest.”

“How do you know all these things?” Leif marvelled, shaking his head.

“I lied earlier” Edvin said, his smile widening, looking back at Leif “Yes I am a merchant, yes I take a risk but it is not so much a gamble. Bad merchants trade goods, good ones trade information. Why do you think your friend Gorran has risen to become so powerful? He realises this better than most men I have come to know.”
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Mordred
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PostSubject: Re: Vinland: Revelations   Wed Sep 19, 2012 12:24 am

“There was a great man named Greycloak!” he called out as he drew closer, his voice deep and carrying well in the evening air. As he did so, the sounds of their merry making dying out, and they eyed him up suspiciously.

“He was not great because of his incredible deeds, though they were many and marvellous. Oh no, his friends and even his enemies pronounced him great because he always travelled well equipped.”

The men were drawn together in a circle, seated on a variety of items from the ship, including sea chests, coils of rope, anything to keep them off the cold ground. In the centre, a small fire was burning fuelled by driftwood, the people of Greenland as ever careful with their wood supplies.

“With a cask of ale, and mugs enough to go around!” he exclaimed suddenly, putting the cask down onto the ground and throwing mugs to those who needed them. The crew let out a cheer for their provider, and moved aside to allow the skald to join them.

“You be welcome here with beer” rhymed a black-toothed man with a lopsided grin, already rather drunk.

“With beer I am welcome here?” Gostav replied with a smile, and the man roared out laughing, thumping him on the back, then fell backwards off his seat to the obvious mirth of those around him, although Gostav felt the laughter was a little more vehement than perhaps it needed to be.
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Isabel Tenorio
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PostSubject: Re: Vinland: Revelations   Thu Sep 20, 2012 12:33 am

I think Griffon drinking is more entertaining. tongue



Come on, next snippet, it's been a whole day already!
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Mordred
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PostSubject: Re: Vinland: Revelations   Thu Sep 20, 2012 12:48 am

Your wish is my command! I wasn't sure if people were actually interested in them, so I had stopped.


Another wave of nausea hit him, making him wince. No, this was not the time to be thinking such thoughts, far more important was the nearest drink of water. Or a bowl, either would do.

Eventually he made it out of his room, and found Thorvald leaning against the wall just outside, talking quietly to Adalwolf.

“Finally Leif!” Thorvald muttered when he saw his elder brother emerge. There must have been something wrong, Thorvald looked worried. He never looked worried.

“Drink this, all of it. It will stop you wanting to retch so much” Adalwolf goaded, passing him a jar. Leif took it and drank deeply, savouring the sickly sweet taste. Mostly sickly though.

“What was it?” he asked, trying to make his eyes less blurry.

“Mead” Thorvald replied with a mischievous grin.

“Mead?” Leif moaned, immediately feeling some vomit in his throat. Gulping it down, he shook his head, feeling his mind clear a little “are you trying to poison me?”

“The best thing after a nights drinking, is more alcohol” Adalwolf chuckled “its one of those strange mysteries only the gods understand, and I for one will not argue with their wisdom”
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Isabel Tenorio
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PostSubject: Re: Vinland: Revelations   Thu Sep 20, 2012 12:50 am

I've no idea who the characters really are, their relationships, etc. But I like reading the snippets all the same.

And the cure for drunkenness is mead? How interesting! Someone should enlighten Mastifus!
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Sir Haegon
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PostSubject: Re: Vinland: Revelations   Thu Sep 20, 2012 12:52 am

I think Mastifus already knows that, that's why he is always drinking :p

But keep posting Mordred, I'm already looking forward to the next one Wink
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Mordred
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PostSubject: Re: Vinland: Revelations   Thu Sep 20, 2012 1:01 am

Any alcoholic drink actually.

Most alcoholic drinks actually have two types of alchohol in them, ethanol and methanol. The ethanol reacts with the brain first, causing the common drunken symptoms. Once this has been depleted then the methanol begins reacting, and it is this that causes the hangover symptoms as the body is less capable of removing the toxins. Therefore if you start drinking once more, the methanol reactions stop, replaced by the ethanol ones.

The ethanol reaction kickstarts the toxin removal process which will either burn out the methanol too, or else delay the hangover until later in the day when it can be more effectively combated with food and water (dehydration being a big factor in worsening the effects of a hangover, as the body becomes unable to flush the toxins out. Therefore when you go drinking, be sure to have at least -some- water before going to bed).
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Isabel Tenorio
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PostSubject: Re: Vinland: Revelations   Thu Sep 20, 2012 1:03 am

Or you just stick to vodka. Then you don't have to worry about hangovers at all. tongue


When can we expect the next snippet, Your Kingliness?
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Mordred
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PostSubject: Re: Vinland: Revelations   Thu Sep 20, 2012 1:05 am

*shrug* a writer releases snippets precisely when he means too, and not a moment sooner!


Last edited by Mordred on Thu Sep 20, 2012 1:10 am; edited 1 time in total
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Isabel Tenorio
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PostSubject: Re: Vinland: Revelations   Thu Sep 20, 2012 1:07 am

You're really channeling Johan now! I am so happy!



(Gandalf stole it from Johan, don't try to tell me any differently or refute me with simple things like facts!)
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PostSubject: Re: Vinland: Revelations   Thu Sep 20, 2012 1:11 am

If anyone is interested in reading the whole script, I can send you what I have thus far, I just dont want to release the whole thing publicly both for copyright issues, but also that publishers would hate for it to be freely available on the net.

I had my most productive day in a long time yesterday, 7,000 brand spanking new words Very Happy therefore there is quite a lot more material for snippets.
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Saeros
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PostSubject: Re: Vinland: Revelations   Thu Sep 20, 2012 7:48 am

Have you heard of Indiegogo, Kickstarter, Crowdfunding, and so on? You could get a lot of money for both Vinland and your book.

Seriously, there are really crazy projects being funded (like this book, with 99 shades of the color grey - no words or pictures, which raised US$ 6,000). Another one raised almost 8,000 for a book on crochet...

I think it's very probable that you end up raising at least US$ 5000 for each one of them. Advertising that you did extensive historical research etc. would make it stand out even more of the usually amateur stuff there.
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Mordred
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PostSubject: Re: Vinland: Revelations   Tue Sep 25, 2012 8:31 am

@ Saeros (Sorry forgot you had posted!) yes I have considered using those, I still may in order to raise the funds to self publish. I would most like to use Kickstarter, but they are not yet available in the UK unfortunately.

And now, another little peek;

“It started out as a longing, a need to be out on the open seas, again facing down the many dangers of the unknown. Over the years, it has become an ache, one I thought could contain but then on hearing the opportunities that Bjarni told us of, told you of...” Erik babbled. Leif looked down at his father and saw an old vulnerable man, struggling against an addiction. For his entire life he had looked up to his father, had seen him as an insurmountable rock that would be forever the foundation of his life.

Now though, now he just felt pity for him. Shaking his head against this new side to the man he thought he knew so well, Leif made for the door.

“Surely you’ve felt it? The call of the unknown, a longing to see things, to do things that no other Norseman, possibly no other man has done before?” Erik murmured, lowering his head and looking at his feet. All the strength, all the pride in the man was rubbed away.

It made Leif stop, it made him really search his soul and he found that he too had the affliction deep down that his father did. Through the years he had satiated it with knowledge, with reading, with learning, but now it was something stronger, tugging him towards the west.

“Yes father, I know it” Leif replied slowly.
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Mordred
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PostSubject: Re: Vinland: Revelations   Fri Oct 12, 2012 1:01 am

Woohoo, all my research has paid off. Without it I wouldn't have known the little tidbits like this;

Quote :
“Isn’t it dangerous to have a fire on an open ship like this?” Rhuntyr quizzed, approaching Leif.

“It can be, but on a calm day like this there is little chance that embers will fly, besides I have a little trick up my sleeve” Leif chuckled, he then pointed at the cargo area “take Berend, and lift one of the deck boards from there, beneath should be piles of stone and other debris. Use an empty cask, line it with rocks and mud, and pour sea water in to that it is wet. On top of this build the fire; the water will keep the cask from burning, and eventually the heat will harden the mud into a fireproof layer.”

“You didn’t wash the ballast?” Bjarni piped up, his voice more agitated than usual.

“We started” Leif began weakly, with a small shrug “but it took too long, and we needed to make the rest of the ship ready to leave.” The mariner shook his head at the admission, and rubbed a finger over his eyes clearing out some grime.

“Water will leak into the hold, and become contaminated because of the dirt. If it begins to wash out over the ship, which it will, it shall cause everything to become encrusted in mud, causing the ropes and sail to rot more quickly. Anyone handling the ropes will raise blisters and even cuts, which in turn are far more likely to become infected due to the dirty water. That’s why I insisted that was done over any other chore”

Leif could only shrug at the tirade, not certain that the issue was worth such derision, but he knew that the mariner was tightly strung at the moment so remained silent. Muttering darkly, Bjarni strode away up the ship, glancing down to the deck boards frequently and shaking his head.

The fire pit idea I got from a recreated Viking settlement in Sweden, where they had a fire place built out of wood, but used a layer of mud to "fireproof" it. The dirty ballast was from a book I read about a group who have recreated the voyage from Greenland to Canada in a Viking ship to prove that it was possible. One of the first problems they came across during testing was dirty ballast causing the rest of the ship to be coated in grime, so for their actual voyage they spent days rinsing all the rocks out.
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Marcus the Shadow Fighter
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PostSubject: Re: Vinland: Revelations   Fri Oct 12, 2012 1:56 am

Nice! Very nice details. (Your sentences could be a little smoother, though Twisted Evil )


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PostSubject: Re: Vinland: Revelations   Fri Oct 12, 2012 2:06 am

Yeah I know, I just wrote that it all needs some serious editing (and I intend to bring a professional in for that, I know from my work in Pendor just how important a good editor is).
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PostSubject: Re: Vinland: Revelations   Fri Oct 12, 2012 2:11 am

I prefer to edit my own text to my liking, so that I can have all the wording I want. I also usually don't write in such a hurry: I really like to take my time with writing, as it always has the best effect. I doubt that you pay half a mind to writing, but for me, I try to be as concentrated as I can to make the text as perfect as it can be.

I suppose I am my own editor for now. Smile

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