Ok, to try and tackle that concern, we should create some guidelines as to what the acceptable level of reactions are so that people have an idea of where the "line" is, of course they can go beyond this but that in turn will reflect badly on themselves.
0 to -4EP : None, these are day to day occurrence in medieval society, and the only reaction is to boost your defences in affected areas. Of course relations with the defending Order will be damaged, but that is about all.
-5 to -6EP : Dubious activity, you may pursue compensation in the courts of Pendor (most likely for a fine).
-7+ : Criminal activity, defendant gets the right to retaliate in kind, OR pursue compensation, OR launch propaganda against the aggressor.
Those in an ideological conflict (Dawn and Eventide, Gauntlets and Silvermist), might get reduced penalties, friction between those two sides is expected.
Furthermore, if there is a proper cause for conflict (ie a casus belli) then all reactions are removed. It's war, anything goes.